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Hi, 

newcomer here. I have moved in to a property that has a drainage ditch with plastic pipes that cross the ditch. They look unsightly and I want to disguise them.

i was thinking using some sort of fast growing evergreen with some kind of mesh Support. Can anyone suggest a good way of erecting the support and a plant gag will happily grow horizontally. It's 2-3 metres and I presume the plant doesn't want to be to heavy 

Dovefromabove

Hi Pinchie 

Could you post a photo for us so we can get a better idea of your options .... I worry about potentially blocking the drainage ditch and causing flooding that could get you in legal hot water.  

To post a photo click on the camera icon ... if it doesn't upload try reducing the size of the pic ... that usually works.

Hi Dove, hopefully you can see this pic? The pipe is at around 3 feet above the ground which was previously overgrown and I have cleared. 

Dovefromabove

Hi ... yes I can see that 

I really wouldn't put any netting or mesh around/over that pipe ......... in a winter flood debris/twigs etc would get caught in it and could quickly cause a blockage causing a dam effect and flood your garden and that of your neighbours, or maybe worse! 

BobTheGardener

I've fixed the orientation on your photo, pinchie.:

I wouldn't be please with that pipework either - looks like a bit of a bodge job.  Do you know what services the pipe is carrying?  All I can come up with is hiding it under an old log, which would at least look more natural.

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Dovefromabove

What is on the other side of the ditch?   What about a little footbridge over the pipe?  It could be attractive without having bits that would snag any floating debris.  

Dovefromabove

A log is probably a better idea than a 'bridge' Bob.  

When our pond was fitted, the water was flowing to the cascade through a grey plastic pipe which stood out like a sore thumb - it was hideous.  We have put some plants close by which will eventually grow to hide the pipe.  In the meantime I had the idea of painting the pipe a dark colour to camouflage it and help it to blend in.  We hardly notice the pipe now.  Perhaps you could paint your pipe grey or earth colour pinchie.

hi, thanks for the ideas everyone

 - can anyone recommend a type of paint that might be used? 

hogweed

If its plastic you can get Plasticote paint from B&Q.  Its strange that if it is a drain pipe, why does it not go into the ditch? Perhaps a bit of investigation required....

Any possibility it might be a makeshift conduit for an electric cable, to a shed or greenhouse maybe?

Last edited: 29 May 2017 23:44:24

Dovefromabove

Surely if it carries electricity that should be indicated in some way?  Needs investigating in my opinion. 

When we moved into this house we found some very eccentric (and dangerous!) wiring.

Some people will do just about anything!

hogweed

Ditto with my house. It was a bodger's paradise! The whole house inside had to be stripped back to basics and then rebuilt practically. Two of the less dangerous things they did was paint over every socket and light switch in the house with emulsion! And every socket and light switch had the x marks cut into them where they had cut wallpaper round the switches.All of them had to be replaced.  And paint over an original tiled/cast Victorian fireplace with multiple layers of paint. Took me loads of hours and multiple cans of paint stripper to redo that one. 

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hogweed says:

Its strange that if it is a drain pipe, why does it not go into the ditch? 

See original post

 If it's a foul drain from the house?

But you're right, it doesn't look like a 'proper' job - whatever is in there. It's vulnerable and regardless of what's in it, it shouldn't have been left as it is. You need to find out why and what and get it moved to a safer route.

Dovefromabove
hogweed says:

Ditto with my house. It was a bodger's paradise! The whole house inside had to be stripped back to basics and then rebuilt practically. Two of the less dangerous things they did was paint over every socket and light switch in the house with emulsion! And every socket and light switch had the x marks cut into them where they had cut wallpaper round the switches.All of them had to be replaced.  And paint over an original tiled/cast Victorian fireplace with multiple layers of paint. Took me loads of hours and multiple cans of paint stripper to redo that one. 

See original post

 Huh!  That's nothing   We once viewed a house where the low level loo cistern had been covered with Artex!!!!!!!!!!!!   Top and sides!!!!!!!!!! 

When I moved into my house the previous tenant had painted the UPVC  window in the small toilet,  and then tried to remove it with a heat gun !!!!!!!!!!!!          The paint,  not the window.  

Reading these have made me smile at a horrid time for us as our beloved friend Buster T Dog went to sleep this weekend. So although your problem with the awful pipe did not make me smile Pinchie, the other of botched jobs did, because it's amazing how utterly crap some people are at stuff..and how amazing you all get on with it and make it pretty. 

We bought our house 8 years ago, it's a victorian detached in a Yorkshire town. Loved the house - as said before the whole garden which wraps itself around the house is complely covered in concrete and tarmac.

but that was no the worst of it. When we came to view ( 3 times) the main bedroom had some horrid built in wardrobes , but you can just rip them out we thought, carpet was new so we thought it could stay while we fixed things up and hardboard shelves, panelling whatever everywhere - we are still just on the bedroom.

I got the keys, and although I was dying to go to my new house I had to wait a few more days as my husband works away from home every week And we wanted to go in for the first time together, with Buster T Dog. We  eventually got there at 11pm on his birthday after he travelled from Exenter after work.

went to our new bedroom to find the new carpet had been fitted around the bloody bed and there was a king size hole in it with a mangy stickiy stinky bright pink shag pile in it. lol

when we went down to the big sitting room which was all newly decorated, ...well it wasn't behind the furniture that had been there previously. The lazy sods had not even moved a telly cabinet to paint or wall paper around.

makes me chuckle now but every room we have done has taken 6 months or so to sort out 'Mr DIY's' errors. 

Luckily my old man is a cabinetmaker with lots of other skills so he has restored this old house with the respect it deserves.

Me? I garden over concrete. The more flowers the better - there is always room for more . 

They probably did it up to sell it.

At least they made that much effort!

One we went to llook at belonged to 'arty' people. Hardly any two walls were the same colour, but all sludgy blues and greens and yellows. The kitchen sink was full of dirty crocks and the worksurfaces were invisible. Every light switch was surrounded by a wide halo of clayey finger prints from their pottery making and just outside the back door was a mini volcanic cone where they regularly dumped the ashes from the aga!

 We didn't bother with a second viewing!

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